So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
