I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
