Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Your dad touched me again.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
