Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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