i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
