The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
