I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
