super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
