I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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