Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
