I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
