Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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