yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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