I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
