pedialite and red bull = repair kit
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
