oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.