Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers

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  (616): U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers http://tfl.nu/yb16
  Replies (4) Good night (739) Bad night (933)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"

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  (203): It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it" http://tfl.nu/xj55
  Replies (12) Good night (638) Bad night (3037)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain

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  (301): You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain http://tfl.nu/26nd
  Replies (10) Good night (4086) Bad night (1194)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.

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  (919): I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all. http://tfl.nu/fj96
  Replies (7) Good night (3066) Bad night (949)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.

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  (603): I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter. http://tfl.nu/ujkx
  Replies (6) Good night (8832) Bad night (1090)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.

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  (912): Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops. http://tfl.nu/tuda
  Replies (9) Good night (1235) Bad night (3688)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.

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  (573): They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/azqc
  Replies (5) Good night (3393) Bad night (639)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.

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  (203): I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me. http://tfl.nu/grro
  Replies (11) Good night (5409) Bad night (883)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...

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  (256): The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving... http://tfl.nu/0z2j
  Replies (17) Good night (1586) Bad night (1630)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.

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  (217): We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater. http://tfl.nu/r45m
  Replies (4) Good night (1594) Bad night (591)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.

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  (856): Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws. http://tfl.nu/oz69
  Replies (16) Good night (2084) Bad night (1165)
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  (818): View more from California

  You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.

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  (818): You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar. http://tfl.nu/wmr3
  Replies (8) Good night (797) Bad night (296)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five

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  (705): He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five http://tfl.nu/qd6j
  Replies (0) Good night (539) Bad night (231)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.

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  (301): by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can. http://tfl.nu/1yox
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (297)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend

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  (203): Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend http://tfl.nu/dbv2
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (229)

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