Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways