No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!