The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
