And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
