the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize