how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
