She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
And then he peed in my hair
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