So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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