he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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