My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
