ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
