good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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