went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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