How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
North Korea, Best Korea!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
