yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
