I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize