My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize