hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize