She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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