Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
