If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
