the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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