I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
