Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just invented taco cereal.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
