I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm both gender and math confused
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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