I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I want to fling myself into the sun
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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