There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
