these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
