You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
