My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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