You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
