I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
