dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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