Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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