i don't like sucking hair
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
