When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
