i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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