You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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