Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
too bad you live with your parents still
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
