Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am midnight drunk by noon
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
