Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
