During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
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I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
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Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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