Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
