Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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