she woke up with a sticky ear
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize