I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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