just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
