I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize