Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the day after is always just damage control
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
